by Frank Taylor

It’s time someone came out and admitted it: all of the Boston College athlete stereotypes are true. Everyone is thinking it, but I am going to come out and tell you all about us. We are all rude, arrogant, and only care about ourselves and other athletes. Last, but certainly not least, we are all a bunch of big, dumb jocks.

I’ll tell you one thing, we athletes have too much free time on our hands. Aside from twelve and a half hours of classes, twenty hours of practice and film, and six hours of mandatory study hall a week, we are out all the time partying. Anyone can tell you that Friday nights are crazy!  I don’t go to bed until 10PM—and I get to sleep until 6 AM before leisurely waking up for my Saturday morning meetings and practice.

I can’t even tell you guys the last time I’ve been to one of my classes. I just kind of bite the bullet when I have to do early morning sprints as punishment for missing the daily class checks. All of my teacher give me a little grade boost, anyway, like in microeconomics.  After studying for 8 hours for a recent exam, I was thrilled to see my teacher had graced me with a D. Rewards for athletes here are sweet!

Athletes all wear sweatpants and t-shirts. (Ok, this one sadly is true for me. I do wear sweatpants and on a good day I’ll throw some jeans on. I can barely walk anymore with my sore and beat up legs as it is, and I don’t think my skin-tight khaki pants are really going to help.)  But it doesn’t matter how we dress. Even wearing sweatpants 24/7, I have simply been swarmed by women since I arrived at Boston College. Because I play football, I am obviously one of the top three best-looking guys on the campus. I’ve been told countless times that stepping onto the field transforms me into a young George Clooney.

We do like to have our fun, even if we are all rude and arrogant.  Consider “The Gentlemen Game” that a couple of my friends and I invented for our walks around campus. In this game we go out of our way to do kind things for people. Primarily we do a lot of door holding, picking up objects that people drop, and carrying things. Rude and obnoxious, right? The scoring all depends on the task. Gentlemanly gestures towards women are worth double points. The other day, two girls were struggling while carrying a large TV into their dorm, so I ran over, carried it to their room, and scored a cool eight points. Playing the game makes doing things for other people fun and humorous, because the other students get mad that they weren’t there to hold the door, or that they didn’t think of helping a classmate first.  But we can’t help ourselves: that’s just the competitiveness of us athletes.

What am I majoring in, you might ask yourself.   You already know the answer: I am majoring in Eligibility (trying to stay in school), much like all the rest of the football players. Our only goal in the classroom is getting by while doing as little work as possible. Not one of us would have gotten into Boston College without football, even if most of the players were getting letters from Ivy League schools, as well.

It seems BC athletes are just what all of you think we are, inside and out. Maybe whoever made up all the stereotypes of an athlete hit the nail straight on the head, or maybe there is a little bit more to some of us. But I suppose we can’t defy our stereotypes everyday—and you can’t bother to question your prejudices. At Boston College, athletes are all just players just trying to pass through, right?